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Events | Administration | Members | Records | Previous SeasonsWeekly Reports: Season 2018–19 Your report fast track . . . End of Year Awards The close of another mixed but highly successful golfing season was again celebrated in the top tier of the Walker Retreat whose continued hospitality is greatly appreciated by all. Walks and the vivacious Max always make us feel welcome and at home and they again treated us to the million dollar views from their top balcony. The Feildel Phantom performed his culinary skills at the BarBQ and a generous serving of sausages, nicely browned onions, fresh bread rolls and copious sauces was followed by a fruit platter. Perfectly cooled beers were guzzled down as the conversation firstly drifted to several devious schemes to remove (or kill off) two very large palm trees in their neighbour's yard that blocked otherwise great views across the city before drifting to other more important matters – the Awards presentations. Dalbs was again the stand-in (though a rather more emaciated version) for the traditional Master of Ceremonies who again was unfortunately indisposed, and managed to complete the proceedings without losing or breaking any of the Awards precariously balanced on the balcony wall. And so began the Macca magic . . . . Major Trophies
Season Awards
Tuesday, April 2, 2019 The ultimate season round attracted five quality players in the 14th running of the Handicapper's Trophy, an event that has variously been played as 4 Ball Better Ball, 3 Ball Better Ball, Ambrose and involved "Swingers" at some events. Today it was every man for himself in a good old Stableford hitout over Pines/Lake in fine conditions. It was a threesome off first followed by the twosome, the lead group looking back as Pinky sent a big drive crashing into trees while Jacko caressed a draw that finished down the centre. Pays not to read too much into the start. As he progressed around the course, Brian's woods and irons became punishingly effective with the occasional "come-a-cropper" as you'd expect from someone who hadn't hit the white ball in anger for some time. The fine efforts of this Royal Fremantle inductee produced a consistent score across both nines, no wiped holes and a well-deserved Trophy win. Poor old Jacko had a reasonable start but, as the round progressed, had paroxysms of purgatory off the tee, off the fairway and on the green. Gotta give it to him though, his temperament held up despite a resounding NAGA win.
Meanwhile Macca and Walks were having a good ding-dong, fighting it out for the remaining podium spots after Dalbs capitulated, drowning in the Lake (and putting a ball in the lake) after a leading at the halfway mark. Macca headed Walks at the turn 16 to 14 after throwing in 3 hand grenades (triples) while Walks was throwing in even more over the first 6 holes before finally warming up to the task, half of his front nine score coming from the last 3 holes. Included with his efforts to take out the group in front with a ripping slice on Lake par 3 3rd was some serious points scoring but two hiccups (triples actually) toward the end saw And that, as the actress said to the Bishop, is that (for another ripping season) Results:
Tuesday, March 26, 2019 The mob waiting in the car park were putting out the welcome mat as Tom's vehicle backed into the parking bay (same colour, same make). After a short pause, he stepped out into the cool morning air and . . . "Well I'll be buggered" said Macca as some imposter looking totally unlike Tom emerged. That made it the same five starters as last week - eventually - as Dalbs made a late entry to double up the Treasurers pay-at-the-office routine. It was a magnificent morning – cool, clear and still – just ripe for a host of big scores. So much for the host! The one significant observation about today's round was the respectable effort put in by todays clear winner who, unfortunately, couldn't be at Mornington. The others, who did put in a marathon effort at Mornington, went missing today. But it was still all good fun (I think). We weren't sure which way Squancey's game would go, today's winner wiping the first and birdieing the second (for just the 4th birdie this season). As it turned out, he had moments in the bush but recovered well to shoot 7 over for the remaining 7 holes (including one triple) for his fifth win in a very consistent year.
The rest were a fair way back, the best being Jacko who was generally fine off the tee but had the second shot yips, chalking up an unusually high number of doubles in the process. Walks and Macca were remarkably calm in the face of golfing mayhem, many determined efforts hit thin, fat, left and right interspersed with cracking good hits that had them bemused about the inconsistency. Dalbs was wandering all over the place wondering what the heck he was doing with the alien objects that passed through his hands. But, when all said and done, it was just one of those days.
Results:
Tuesday, March 19, 2019 An instant new Major, perfect weather and a quality field for the all-but penultimate round. Everyone seemed a little brighter from either the uplifting experience at Mornington or, more likely, the extra sleep-in as the daylight dwindles. Macca and Dalbs had inglorious starts, heading off toward the 18th fairway (snap) and struggling home for triples (snap). But from there their scores parted company Dalbs with a few driver misfires and some wormburner fairway shots but salvaged pride and a run of bogies with accurate approaches and some good putts to eke out a bit more Mornington form and a win. Macca had a love affair with the par 3s but had disasters on the par 4's to sneak one ahead on the NAGA count.
In between Walks, Jacko and Squancey were having fluctuating moments of joy and despair – the pulled tee shot; the long straight drives (Jacko the LD); second shots into the bush after a blistering drives; fine recoveries from the trees; the mischip (not Jacko); the "missed-by-that-much" putts. They'd scored 13, 12 and 10 points respectively when the threesome and twosome made a fivesome at the 16th. Each wiped a hole (16th, 17th and 18th respectively). Walks could only manage two doubles (for 4 points) while Jacko hit par and bogey (for 5) and they were all tied up. Squancey had a 2-putt at the 18th to equal their efforts and Results:
Tuesday, February 26, 2019 Juggernaut Jacko reports . . . Results:
Tuesday, February 19, 2019 Zeus has been kind to our golfing group these last few weeks and today was no exception. Clear skies and delightfully cool weather for the penultimate round before the Mornington spectacular. Another good field of seven and the Graeme/Grahams trio leading the charge.
What's in a week? An unexplainable change of form for Dalbs who struggled mightily in the CCs. Strode to the 15th just one shot over after 4 consecutive pars (and 17 points) without any flair and with a few wormburners along the way. Fumbled over the next two but came home with 3-pointers to wreck his Mornington handicap. Pinky was on fire early with an opening birdie and two bogeys from crisp, straight hitting tee-to-green. Suddenly the air was alive with the sound of balls crashing into wood as Tarzan started swinging through the trees still with some cracking but wayward shots. Didn't dent his scoring too much with two 4-pointers saving the day. Squancey also opened with a rush (par) but then settled into a double-bogey routine over 6 of the remaining holes. It didn't dent his 14th podium appearance in 20 games though – quite a commendable effort! Little Master had mixed fortunes, his game coming (2 pars, one on the hardest 18th) and going (2 triples and a quad), consistency a hook and slice too far. Macca couldn't maintain the recent rage but did a damn good job maintaining his double bogey run over 7 holes while Jacko was his usual consummate self off the tee but frustratingly got tangled up with his second shots and a couple of subsequent ones for a round he'd thought had earned him the NAGA. But today's title belonged to "top 'n tail" Walks. Sometimes he just can't take a trick (even at bridge!). Repeated his start of last week with triple/bogey over the first two and finished the last two with triple/quad, denting Jacko's aspirations. Results:
Tuesday, February 12, 2019 The weather gods were at it again – cool with little or no breeze. It was even difficult to determine whether the wind was up any of the leading contenders with much laughter and animated conversation preceding blast-off. Great to have Pinky back on the tee and, as today's round played out, he might've given the title a distinct shake had he been able to play both rounds. "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs . . . " painted a picture of today's championship round. Macca was the personification of icy nerves as he carved out a steady sub-par round to record a convincing win while those nearest to challenging him were carving themselves up. It was a mirror image of the previous week as his nearest contenders – Jacko (9 over on just 4 holes) and Walks (9 over after just the first 2!) – were nonplussed and non gratis (without a charge). Last weeks tailenders, on the other hand, showed marked improvement, Squancey the standout with 3 pars and just 2 shots over par for the last 4 holes to snare a commendable second championship spot while Dalbs spluttered home 5 shots better than last week. And the Little Master stayed steady as a rock to miss third placing by a smidgeon . . . BUT his handicap did finally change - out by 1!
Club Champion: GRAEME McLENNAN Round Results
Tuesday, February 5, 2019 The later starts are happening as are the magnificent mornings for golf. On the first round of the Championships, some managed to take good advantage of the magnificence. After paying due homage to the front 9 regulars, Squancey started proceedings with a cracking good drive straight down the middle and the workers led the way. The lights were on but nobody was shooting them out today. The two front runners are each seeking their second Club Championship title and lurking behind them is the man who has dominated the event over the past five seasons. It all adds up to a very interesting closing round. Macca is hitting great shots off the tee and the fairway and, apart from one or two "wobbly" holes played some pretty consistent golf. Jacko was serious today, his steady, accurate game with more assured putting, placing him just 6 shots over for 8 holes, the 9th giving some grief with some uncharacteristic shots to finish with a triple.
Walks was in charismatic form with 6 steady holes to be 7 shots over before throwing in a few hand grenades for 3 triples. Watch out if he evens out his round next week. The Little Master was slow to start, recorded three 7's over the first three holes. The true meaning of 777 is "reassurance that you are moving on a path towards something better" and so it came to be, rattling off much improved golf to be 7 (what else?) shots over for the remaining holes – and perhaps a blinder next week to challenge for the title? Squancey was a boomer off the tees – 8 of the 9 holes – but mostly struck trouble, trees, sand and discord after that with a subdued aaaggghhhh on the 9th with his one bad drive. Dalbs thoroughly enjoyed the company, the energising walk and the privilege of scoring the halfway leaders card . . . and his NTP hole. Leaderboard at halfway:
Results to be officially recorded:
Tuesday, January 29, 2019 It's the course that everyone loves to play (sorry Ronzo for rubbing it in!) and it almost became a love-in when knowledge of the It was the Parable of the Golfers: "So the last will be first, and the first will be last." And so it came to pass, the second group getting the chocolates and the top three placings (ave. Stableford score - 38 cf group 1 - 34!) while the first feasted on boiled lollies. Walks took the premium chocolates in an up-and-down round characterised by some wayward drives but good recovery 2nd shots; and 10 3-point holes and 2 wipes. Squancey was hitting them reasonably well. Got excited after helping Brian find his ball on Quarry 7th, jumped on his trusty steed, "Hi Ho Silver" and off he tore to the 7th green. But he'd actually jumped onto Shank's Pony and Texas Ranger "Shanks" Walker and his sidekick Wild Brian Hickok were not amused. Recovered his composure (and his buggy) to get even more excited on Lake where he birdied the par 3 3rd and par 5 4th before pummeling his best drive, some 250m on the par 4 347m 5th, to notch up par. Brian was more demure in his approach, employing the 3-wood off the tee producing a few potential rainmakers, and striking some fine fairway shots in a pretty consistent display for someone absent from the game for a time with only two wipes and a good smattering of 3 and 4 point holes. Little Master wasn't enjoying his best outing, often hitting into trouble on the trip to the green but chipping and putting well to put points on the board. And his handicap still remains unchanged.
Macca was gung-ho from the start cracking off some fine drives and fairway woods, finding Quarry to his liking, not wiping a hole and turning with 22 points. Didn't slacken the pace until Lake 6th where a combination of bad luck and a few misfires racked up 2 triples and a double before recovering for a fine bogey finish. Scobes (our Mr Consistent) was all but today. Quarry nine was an eerie reflection of Lake 9 as he whacked and slashed his way over the first 6 Quarry holes for 9 points (4 from a birdie on the signature par 3 3rd) before finishing the last three holes 2 shots over with 9 more points. The first 5 Lake holes only produced 6 points before a blitz of the last 4 holes to again play just 2 shots over with 12 points! Unbelievable. Jacko's was a game of two halves. Quarry proved the more challenging with 6 holes producing doubles or triples, interspersed with some cracking good drives, some touch approaches but a putter that sometimes ran out of puff. Lake he took a distinct liking to as all elements of his game clicked to rattle off 20 points that included 4 pars and a closing birdie with just 2 holes proving troublesome. Dalbs was all fired up but found nowhere to go over Quarry, apart from matching Scobes' birdie on the 3rd for 4 points which made up half of the points managed on that nine. Took more liking to Lake, especially the 3 consecutive pars from 5th to 7th (for 12 points) before closing with his Quarry form and a well earned NAGA.
Tuesday, January 22, 2019 Workers off first today comprised Tom (back on the beat after last week), Squancey (always on the beat) and . . . Macca (well I'll be beat). . . again!! Hasn't worked this hard in decades. The Little (Legs 11) Master had a mini-coodabeen round save for the vagaries of the short stick. Perhaps he is benefiting from his SKLZ Gold Flex 48 Trainer (recommended for 11 handicappers), averaging 3.2 strokes per hole to reach the green after which a 4-putt on the par 3 3rd and two 3 putts coming home put a dent in an otherwise persistent effort. Squancey and Macca, after some reflection, had mirror image rounds. Both mauled the par 5's, each with triples on the 14th, and three triples and a double on the final two holes. Squancey was spraying his drives quite a bit and, despite his troubles, remained remarkably composed (and quiet!). Macca needed the SKLZ Gold Flex 48 Trainer (recommended to get handicaps back to11). His putting, just 14 of them, rocketed him to the Golden Putter title – CONGRATULATIONS MACCA – but left him with 40 more shots (averaging 4.4 strokes per hole) to reach the green and to win yet another NAGA title, though on countback from his mirror image.
The second group,apparently less affected by the Supermoon, dominated todays podium. Dalbs was doing things not normally associated with his golf – keeping the ball mainly on the green stuff from tee to green and, through sheer luck, landing just off the greens to maximise Golden Putter opportunities. It all added up to a first season win and he was lining up behind Ronzo in praise of the Handicapper who, in turn, has had his revenge! As for Scobes, what can one say? He was only 5 shots over for his best 7 holes with that consistent swing and "ping"ing putter, but rued two triples. And just when he thinks he's finally cracked it, there always seems to be some smart arse who has a day out. Walks was the epitomy of inconsistency, monstering a 235m drive down the middle of the 10th and getting par followed by two drives crashing into the bush/trees and struggling to recover for a triple and quadruple. Then par, double/triple (crash), par and 2 doubles (more crash) which prompted Scobes to say "No wonder there's so much bark on the ground. Walks' been through" after which he spread some bark of his own! But, despite his wanderings, Walks's putter was on song with 5 one-putts (a somewhat Macca-esque round). Jacko made an unpromising start, weaving through the trees and 2-putting for a double. But steady the ship he did, apart from a mid-round 'slump' and some cracking of his own, with laser-like drives and some crisp irons. It's just that the putter hadn't had breakfast and too many attempts fell surprisingly short. Couldn't buy a 1-putt until the last two holes which left him agonisingly short of consecutive GP titles.
Tuesday, January 15, 2019 Couldn't have been a better morning for golf. Brilliantly cool and still and only one small "entitled" group to tee off the 1st before the Golden Putter contenders, with Jacko defending, flexed their driver shafts. It was the workers, Ronzo, Squancey and Macca who led the way – yep, Macca was a worker (coffee duty) and, yes, Little Master was winding down and staying to enjoy a post match coffee and banter!! Ronzo was playing "worse than last week" – well perhaps for the first 2 holes to be 5 shots over – but flying home only 6 shots over for the remaining 7 holes wasn't to be sneezed at. The Handicapper's contribution again came in for special praise as did his monster 210m long drive. Squancey's initial drive flew straight into a fairway bunker, but his great recovery was an ominous portent of what was to come. In a very consistent round of consistently big hitting and consistently good putting, he crossed the finishing line just 7 shots over and one putt off the half-way lead. Macca was battling early, his tee shots not as polished and his rescues with the trusty rescue iron needing rescuing. At the 6th hole, was heard to say "This is my Mornington Masters round" and accordingly pencilled in a "12" after frustrating attempts to nudge his ball past the ladies tee. Stayed very calm in the crisis and putted well to also be 1 putt off the GP lead, he and Squancey cleverly pulling up just short of the green or just rolling through it on many occasions.
Jacko had come to defend. If you thought his opening arrow straight drive wouldn't persist over the round . . . . or his crisp fairway woods or his laser-guided putts, you'd be dead wrong. Apart from two double bogey blemishes (nobody's perfect), his was a master class over the remaining 7 holes that included 5 pars! His 15 putts to take the half-way lead included a 5 metre bomb on the 18th but could have been 13 putts but for two putts that pulled up 1-inch and 3-inches short! Little Master, of the stagnantly "low" 11 handicap, was thereabouts but struck too much trouble with trees and rough, some on the left, some on the right and sometimes both left and right on the same hole. But he's a master of persistance. Dalbs and Walks played out a draw but in quite differing styles. Dalbs belted some reasonable drives and fairway irons but lacked consistency in direction while his use of the short stick was diabolical, a putt from off the green, onto the green and straight off the green again a classic (should've gone to Spec Savers). Walks was hot-and-cold, dragging a few too many drives and fairway shots into the woods. When he was bad, he was very, very bad (3 quadruples) but when he was good he got par - twice.
Tuesday, January 8, 2019 Back to the old stomping ground on a magnificent morning for golf with most of the season regulars saddling up. And to everyone's pleasant surprise, in flew the familiar green and grey van. Ronzo just hates par ("How do you score it again?") but, nonetheless, he turned up bringing with him exciting news about the Mornington golf courses and a hit line-up of eating spots. More details to follow soon. The workers charged off with an eclectric mix of tee shots. Ronzo had a 'hit-or-miss" round, with 3 pars and 5 doubles, the latter cushioned by the generosity of the Handicapper upon whom Ron heaped lots of praise for the leg-up in knocking out an impressive +4. Little Master is a bit inconsistent at the moment, making a slow start, wobbly finish and a glimpse of his old self in the middle. Squancey's round mirrored Toms. The chipping of both was not so good indicating they'd possibly taken lessons at the RD School of Chipping. Both played crack billiard shots. Tom, playing the 17th but hitting from the 18th, ricocheted off a tree back into the middle of the 17th while Squancey played a similar shot from rough at the 18th, bouncing off a tree onto the fairway. All got frustrated at the 12th par 3 as first the man with the blower then the man on the mower held them up for over 5 minutes but that soon evaporated in the jubilation of all three getting par on the par 5 14th.
The retireds mostly had satisfying rounds. Scobes was to rue the first hole with a comprehensive wipe before setting sail with consistent hitting to be 7 shots over and 4 plusses. Dalbs and Macca plotted a similar course and a similar score, mixing some doubles and triples with the odd par or two. Macca was driving well early while his work on the greens was pretty cool, deadly from around a metre and casually sinking a 10 metre gem at the 17th. Faded at the 18th as Dalbs, who had an up-and-down round of golf shots mixed with flog stohs (some real backward stuff), squared the last and took the countback. Jacko couldn't take too many tricks, his tree-to-tree frenzy at the first almost a metaphor for the round. Apart from a par, three bogeys and putts that kept falling short by a whisker, he still managed to enjoy a refreshing walk in the park
Results:
Thursday, January 3, 2019 As Scobes reports . . .It was a welcome return to Jacko's backyard and his influence over the weather produced a great morning for golf. A certain trio have been podium hogs the last three weeks. Today, Macca was the tearaway winner with a ridiculous score of 45. He's now chalked up 9 wins or NAGAs for the year - 5 and 4. Is this a premonition for next week's game? Squancey's form has been superb and today produced one of the better losing scores. Scobes can't take a trick, or too many wins. Even though he's had 6 consecutive podiums, there's only been one win in all that. Jacko has been trundling along with some promising efforts that, in the final washup, have seen his attempts at a 3rd placing thwarted by the words ". . . on countback from Jacko". Today was no exception. Walks didn't have his best day. May have been influenced by the fact he was using a Whaleback score card. Bravely handled by Jacko. Tom is finding his low handicap a real burden and languished with the NAGA by a similar large margin. Could've won the NAGA most weeks over 9 holes with this score. Brunch at Jacko’s was terrific with nice crunchy bacon rolls following a big dish of water melon and rock melon. Nicely brewed coffee finished off the repast.
Results:
Friday, December 28, 2018 As Scobes reports . . .Total confusion at the tee off with Macca nowhere in sight and not answering his phone. With heavy hearts the remaining 4 hit of down the hill (the term “down hill” was to be a recurrent theme during the rest of the morning). Upon reaching the 3rd tee the sight (and sound) of a stumbling, puffing and wheezing Macca appeared on the 2nd fairway. We were whole again. When asked what kept him Macca proceeded tell a story which opened with him being “bolt upright in bed”. This was enough to ensure no further enquiries. Tom, Squancey and Scobes played off down/across the 4th while Walks consoled Macca concerning his early morning ordeal and the 2 wipes immediately recorded on his card for holes 1 and 2. The lead group had vastly different golfing experiences on the front nine with scores of 20, 15 and 10 (a distribution only a current statistician a former statistician and a current computing guru could manage). Squancey (20) had an early F$#king wipe but managed to get to the turn with a par and a whole bunch of bogeys. Scobes (15) had his by now traditional slow start by wiping the 1st and barely managed to hold on with a mixed bag of 1s, 2s and a 3. Tom (10) couldn’t get anything going and his 3 wipes were indicative of the way he was playing – shithouse. On the back nine Squancey faltered a couple of F$#ing times but he managed to end up square with the card to finish with a strong 38 points. Scobes improved to score 19 on the back for 34 total as did Tom who similarly made 19 points on the back for 29 total.
Walks was unconsolable after his 9 on the opening hole until Macca arrived at the 3rd to be consoled by Walks about his two wipes. Both struggled somewhat, though a couple of flashy Macca holes saw him tied with Walks at the turn where they were joined by Dalbs, fresh from bone fracture repair. Flashy Macca became Barnstorming Macca as he belted out 6 bogeys and a par in a scintillating and brash display to be 21 points after 7 holes before exhaustion saw him finish with 23 to rocket out of nowhere into second placing. Walks was in bother with his driving - several shots disappearing into tall trees; and several trips in the buggy onto no-go zones leaving him temporarily without power. Didn't disappoint on the par 3 16th where his drive always lands in the left bush - and it did. Dalbs reeled off a conga line of 6's but showed glimpses of his old form (including a few duffed chips) but still managed to better par on his healthy handicap. The shoulder felt fine - it was great to be back. Afters were at the Little Master's abode and a delicious meal of tasty chicken wings, salmon and salad rolls and ham and cheese croissants washed down with a beer or two was an absolute hit and greatly appreciated by those fortunate to be able to partake of the generous Joseph hospitality. Some even got to try out Tom's not-so-secret training aid and view his personally monogrammed balls (Xmas gift from Reggie).
Tuesday, December 18, 2018 As Scobes reports . . .A very small field for one of the most coveted majors of the year – the Christmas Cup. This report reflects the size of the field – small. The ever inconsistent Macca toyed with the opposition and came in with 20 points, three clear of Squancey and Scobes, the latter being once again cruelly relegated on countback. Tom couldn’t quite force his way onto the podium, missing by one point – obviously feeling the strain of playing from a historically low handicap. Jacko was a comprehensive and most unexpected NAGA. The traditional breakfast was consumed at the course, mostly consisting of bacon and egg rolls and coffee. Scobes decided to be a bit adventurous and ordered eggs on toast. All very tasty though a but difficult to handle when served in a cardboard box with plastic “cutlery”. We all longed for the days when Steve was a member and catered for this event, but all agreed that a group consisting of predominantly old pensioners should be grateful for whatever crumbs could be scraped together to celebrate the festive season.
Results:
Tuesday, December 11, 2018 As Scobes reports . . .They thought it might happen. Some even whispered quietly that it would probably happen. Fair dinkum Tom! Is the last thing you hear, the only thing you remember? Otherwise why would you head for Wembley when the action was at Hamersley?** Anyway, it gave the assembled (very small) mob something to talk about other than inconsiderate ground staff. It was two groups of three in very smokey conditions, with a light cool breeze making Jacko glad that he had made a last minute decision to pack a woolly. Jacko, Squancey and Scobes hit off into the smoke haze with no damage done to the fairway (save for an oblique collision with the fairway via a tree from Squancey’s ball). Very average play, including a three putt from Scobes, bode ill for the rest of the round. A further 3 putt on the tenth and a 4 putt from the Squancinator left all but Jacko staring down the barrel of a shocker. Squancey continued to focus on that view and submitted a card of which he was not particularly proud. His partners assured him that he had back-to-back NAGAs in the bag. More on that later. Scobes lifted his game and recorded 18 points over the remaining 7 holes to finish with a competitive 20 points. Jacko was consistency itself except for a blemish on 18. Viewed from afar (which is where the reporter was located), it seemed that Walks was right in the thick of it as he casually strolled down the middle of most fairways, clearly having a good day off the tee. He finally parred the par 3 12th for the first time this season and in so doing took the NTP and has already equalled his career record number of season NTPs (it’s true Walks!). The darting figure of Macca was regularly seen flitting between rough and fairway, indicating that all was not necessarily going to plan. So much so that the confident conclusion amongst group 1 members about the fate of the NAGA for the day (see above), were wide of the mark. See what happens when you stay for coffee Squancey! With the very dull, smokey conditions, it was often difficult to determine the whereabouts of Tom. Despite that, he overcame a patchy start to come home strongly enough to best Jacko in the countback for third place. His round included a magnificent drive to the green on the par 3 15th. Somewhat uncharitably, his partners reported that his birdie attempt was “pathetic”. As a postscript to the previous two weeks where we fought a running battle with the course workers, it seemed that they were distracted this week with the task of placing cute little dobs of fairy floss on the greens rather than taking ages to mow and blow the greens just as we approached. Either that, or they have finally twigged to the fact that there will be golfers (using the broad definition) on the course early on Tuesday. Let’s hope it’s the latter. Results:
Tuesday, December 4, 2018 As Scobes reports . . .Overcast and still were the conditions – custom made for some outstanding golf! It was also nominally Round 2 of Match Play. The only available pair was Macca and Scobes. The former had put in some very mixed efforts in recent weeks, but was nonetheless keen to get on with the match while he could still feel the vibes (albeit 2 weeks old) from his +5 effort a while back. Perennial leading grouper Squancey joined the match players and a speedy start to the round was executed. In the first group, Scobes got away to a good start and led his Match Play by 3 after 4 holes. This was a margin which Macca could not reel in, though he did get it back to 1 with 3 to play. Squancey played very consistently, continually hitting trees and having his ball fly sideways after it’s many collisions. His language was also of the same consistent nature. He did play a cracking drive on the 12th which snared him NTP and a birdie. The enigma which is Macca continued be so. Another NAGA to be clear leader in that category, which adds to his equal leadership of the games won category. You get that with enigmas.
Group two were neck and neck for the best part of the round. Some late wayward drives from Pinky and a mid-round disaster on the 14th for Walks allowed the ever reliable Jacko to sneak away and card the best score of that threesome. Brian was seen to be playing totally different fairways to his partners in the latter stages, having totally lost his compass off the tee. Hope it goes better in Queensland Brian. The morning was rounded off by a special guest appearance by recovering traffic accident victim, photographer and general club roustabout Dalbs. All were glad to see him in full recovery mode.
Tuesday, November 27, 2018 As Scobes reports . . . It was a morning where the late spring air was at its piercing coldest. Bloody freezing was the concensus and many references concerning a single pullover being far from sufficient. It turned out to be a day for winging and moaning as all agreed the enjoyment of the round was reduced by the inconsiderate behaviour of grounds staff. It was also agreed that we should take some of the blame as there would not have been a problem if we had not been on the course. The video and soundtrack of Jacko’s after-play conversation with the course pro will be available on Netflix just prior to Xmas. The play itself was a spooky mirror image of the previous week. The runaway winner (Squancey) had been the clear NAGA the week before. Conversely, Macca who had blitzed the field by 4 with a par score of +5 – good golf in anyone’s book – was woeful in claiming NAGA. The previous week, Scobes and Walks had just pipped their Match Play opponents Pinky and Jacko by one. If the MP had been this week, the results would have been reversed with a one hole win the other way. Such are the patterns which emerge when statisticians take to the golf course.
Results:
Tuesday, November 20, 2018 As Scobes reports . . . It was Match Play opening day. And there were a couple of close ones which came down to the last hole. Macca blitzed the course to card a par score of +5 which left Squancy with little option but to look on with admiration and put his Match Play ambitions to one side for another season. On the other hand it was neck and neck, hammer and tongs, pitch and putt, blood and guts and all round outstanding entertainment in the other two matches. Walks managed a spectacular bogey 5 on the last to match the score of Jacko and take the match on weight of handicap. Scobes came from 1 behind with 2 to play, helping himself to a rare par on the 17th to get square with Pinky then prevail by the odd shot on the last. Cups of coffee were greatly enjoyed after such a draining couple of hours (yes, the foursome did finish 3 holes behind the path finding pair of McLennan/Squance). Squancy’s aforementioned admiration had dried up by this stage and he had made himself scarce well before the coffees hit the table and he was declared NAGA for the day.
Results:
Tuesday, November 6, 2018 As Jolly Jockey Jacko reports. . . And they’re off … … in the running of the annual Hamersley Handicap, an event for glue factory candidates over 2900 metres. The weather was cool and the track good but there were only three acceptances. Squancey (by Straight Drives out of Brute Force) led the field by 2 at the third turn, but Tom (by Parring The Next Two out of Grim Determination) surged to the lead. Jacko (by This Point out of Handicap Strokes) was level with Tom but facing an impossible run to the finish. Squancey made a charge at the seventh but couldn’t stay the distance, and Tom held off all comers to snatch the purse.
Results:
Tuesday, October 30, 2018 Report pending . . ..
Results:
Tuesday, October 23, 2018 Jacko reports that . . "I’m in the carpark, where are you" … was Squancey’s reply when Jacko rang him at 5:25, and 3 pairs of eyes scanned the dozen cars in the carpark, searching in vain for confirmation. The response to the obvious follow-up question shed a little more light (Wembley), and thus the mantle was passed from Scobes to Squancey. Ten minutes later he was in the right carpark and the wait was over. Squancey was all hustle and bustle from the start with his driver dialled in to maximum effect. He flirted with the trees all the way around the course and in all but one case the trees rejected him, tossing him back out onto the fairway. A laser-like tee-shot into the 12th saw him snatch the NTP, and after 6 holes he was cruising with 12 points before powering home to a win with 22 points. Jacko played a lot of recovery shots from the trees, scoring 10 points over the first 6 holes, but a late surge over the final 3 gave him 18 points and second spot. Pinky struggled with the par fives, but then some solid tee-shots including a long drive on the 18th gave him the edge over Macca and he grabbed the final podium place with 16 points. Macca had an ordinary day on the course and an extra-ordinary day on the greens with his first 4 putt in recent memory, but a 7 point recovery over the last 3 holes saw him posting 15 points.
Results:
Tuesday, October 16, 2018 Scobes reports that . . . Frantic reacquaintance with the complexities of the Par Bisque format dominated pre-tee off discussions. The first point agreed upon was that Par Bisque = no Ronzo. The rest gradually became clear and away we went. Jacko adhered to his mantra of making sure you have no shots left at the end by using all of his handicap by the sixth hole. Two wipes and a half to finish was his reward. There didn’t seem to be much rhyme or reason to the tactics of others, though Walks (probably inadvertently) had a couple of shockers mid-round which left him with little option but to stockpile shots. He seemed to have judged it perfectly, still having two shots left on the last (as we would all prefer). Bugger me if he didn’t par the last and end up with a shot unused – go figure. Macca used his handicap like a drunken sailor with a full wallet and ended up playing the last without benefit of a stroke. Check the podium and see if this made a blind bit of difference. The rest seemed to play just that bit too consistently to be able to make any brilliant tactical moves, though a smiling Scobes thought he had played it perfectly by having two left for the last. He can’t recall the last time he had 3 three putts in one round. Did someone say smiling?
Results:
Tuesday, October 9, 2018 So nice to go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky, and all I ask is some straight hits and some putts to finish it by. With a fine clear morning and a brisk easterly, the mantra was on everyone's lips, all with visions of taking out the 6th running of the championship. The course was in great condition and the greens running fairly true. Good scores and a close finish were in the offing, provided we could steer our way through a stiff Easterly and around the copious number of locals exercising on the course. "Who me? You're kidding". Jacko seemed genuinely surprised that his 16 points was a championship winning score. There had been one winning score lower (15) in 2016-17 when Jacko was knocked off by Steve on countback. It was his steady golf, apart from a wipe on the 3rd (looking like a windmill in the green side bunker), which paved his way to victory on a course that always proves challenging. Walks, like most, was having his ups and downs, the best of them on the 2nd where his drive finished up on the adjacent rugby field where a kindly jogger picked it up and tossing it back down on the fairway. Went a little flat mid-round then took the NTP, the only player to hit the green, and 4 putts later . . . Squancey wasn't driving up to his usual high standard, his up'n down round (including 2 triples and a wipe) a source of frustration, but still got him a podium finish.
It was Brian's first outing with GBW at Sea View and he seemed determined to suss out the trees, scrubby bush and sand, too often finding the ball stymied in his bush visits and the bunkers not giving his ball up easily. Macca was quickly out of the blocks with 5 points over the first two. Whether the outrageous antics of his playing partners affected his game is debatable but he seemed to lose his mojo and sense of direction and couldn't maintain the rage. Meanwhile, back in the bush, the bunkers, the miscues and the short putts, Dalbs and Ronzo were having a neck-to-toe struggle for the NAGA. Dalbs never got going, his game typified by his one long drive to within 20 metres of the green on the 273m par 4 5th and seeing his pathetic short game finally pot the ball for a 6. Ronzo hit some blistering drives followed by a few more blustering irons, the best a pitch shot to the 3rd green that flew high over the fence and settled on the neighbours street verge. A friendly female local helped him find it and Ronzo wasn't complaining! Except when the NAGA was announced!
Results:
Tuesday, October 2, 2018 As Cub Reporter Scobes observed . . . A disappointingly small field assembled (shambled in) at some indeterminate time prior to sunrise. Who knows what the tee-off times are these days? Yes, it was a verdant spring morning with all the attendant birds, bees and lawnmowers – but who really cares. It was stroke play and those who are intimidated by the pressure which this traditional format brings were not there. The entire club teed off together as there was no sign of pressure likely from behind. This format was maintained until the par 3 16th where two speedy ladies (not saying they were fast, just speedy) caught up with our group. They were invited to play through with all the gallantry that Macca could muster (and muster he did). But, back to the golf . . . It was a neck and neck struggle for the whole round with very few really bad holes from anyone. Exceptions were a 10 on the 11th by Brian, which made his second place all the more meritorious. He has worked out some magical adjustment to his grip and is now hitting his driver out of sight (handicapper alert). Jacko “managed” a 7 on the par 3 12th, putting him right behind the eight ball, having already been behind the eighth tree. He did all he could to recover with pars on 13 and 14, but could only trail the field in for a clean sweep of the NAGA for weeks 1 and 2. Despite several profane outbursts, The Squancenator threw in a couple of pars and a heap of bogeys to win the day with a net 35. Good going for an early season stroke round. Rounds of Macca and Scobes were conducted in exemplary fashion as far as etiquette and general demeanor were concerned. They just need to apply the exemplary bit to their golf and their scores will further improve. Results:
Tuesday, September
25, 2018
Will someone please nick my golf clubs! Macca's misfortune has seemingly done wonders for his golfing successes in recent months and today was no exception. Aided by a "Squancey" at the par 3 12th – chip in for birdie (and 4 points) – and par on the longish par 3 16th (another 4 points), he arrived at the 18th tee with 20 points, 1 point ahead of rampant Tom. Little Master was just 6 strokes over, including 3 pars in a very measured and steady round, and on 19 points. In heart wrenching scenes reminiscent of the Turnbull coup, Tom was on in 3, only needing 2 putts to tie with Macca and win on countback. But, you guessed it . . . . Both had a love of the par 3's, collectively playing them 1-under (3 pars and a birdie).
Not far behind, three old Fogies were breathing down their necks. F1 (Scobes) was warming up in 6's and a 7 territory (with a par thrown in) over the first 6 holes but came rushing home with 9 points to skittle two other hopefuls in a Captain-testing countback. Playing partners F2 (Dalbs) and F3 (Walks) were matching each other for an eclectic mix of fine strikes and frustrating fluffs, the former aided by a few lucky bounces (mainly off trees); the latter more consistent with some punishing drives and fairway shots let down a bit by the short game. Speaking of which, Pinky would've felt a bit cheated, hitting a series of crisp shots from tee to green but rueing 5 putts on line to drop but just lacking puff. The slow greens were taking their toll on what was a good first-up hitout. Ronzo was just off his game today with my lucky no. 7 his not-so-lucky most frequent score. Only one AAAAGGGHHHH but the lad is lacking match practice. Not lacking any match practice and dumbfounding the critics were our tailenders. The Winter Golf record score holder (48 pts last week) bamboozled the pundits with a breakout double/triple over the first 2 holes. Squancey just couldn't find his groove until his signature par 3 3rd where he almost did a "Squancey", chipping up ever so close to just miss the birdie. It was one of few morning highlights in a round speckled wih triples. His sparring partner, Jacko, let fly with a withering opening, going par over the first two holes and just 1-over after 3 with a handy 7 points. What happened next couldn't be blamed on the brief shower that came out of nowhere – his game just seemed to go into nowhere, managing only 5 points Results:
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him 1 point shy of the Whirling Dervish.
The highlight for 'the rest' came after Dalb's tee shot went right into bush and Maccas left into bush. As Walks prepared to blast off he noted "I'd like to get in between those two". Dalbs and Macca immediately scanned the Milverton Ave footpath . . . and then the penny dropped.
take second on countback but inexplicably danced around the hole taking four putts as the rest of the field plugged their ears. 
Pinky once again demonstrated the ease of playing competitive golf with little or no practice. Hit some solid drives after an opening rainmaker and equally solid irons in a round displaying great course management. Recorded one of only four par or better scores achieved over the two rounds.
Results:
A spattering of rain on the way to the course didn't wet any appetites for claiming the coveted Golden Putter trophy. Thankfully it was but a drop in the bucket and that familiar number of players – 7, with Ronzo out and Scobes in – were back in familiar territory off the 10th. All this under the watchful eye of yet another "Supermoon"?
Results:
Results:
Results:
HAPPY CHRISTMAS to one and all. 
Results:
In the end it was a very close run thing, with 4 players on +3 and the other two on +2 and +1 respectively. Par equivalent scores have been added to the finishing order, just to show how inciteful or even accidentally judicious use of handicap can make the PB format so much of a challenge/pain in the arse.
And all we asked was a windy day with the white clouds flying,
A terrific turn out to contest the season opener on a slightly overcast, misty and cool morning under a full moon. What could possibly go wrong, apart from the pro shop being tightly locked and not another soul in sight? It wasn't the wolves howling, it was the Pro who thankfully materialised after the agreed tee-off time with hands in the air, locked out of his office! Given the green light to tee off while he waited for the key to arrive, Acting Treasurer, Captain and all round good guy Walks got us organised (and titillated by the score card cover – thanks again Steve!) and Master Blaster got the season away – straight into the bush!
over the next 6 holes. It was an opening round of very mixed fortunes. ©
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